Today as I sat in my classroom in the middle of class and looked on MNSBC.COM I saw something that took my breath away. Chengdu, in the Sichuan Province of China, was hit with a 7.5 magnitude earthquake.
I'll explain why it took my breath away. I will now explain my story and testament to God's faithfulness in my life and how it is I truly came to Korea.
THIS is my story -- (and yes... it's worth the read)
Five years ago I had my first experience overseas and went to China. It's a trip that literally transformed my life and the Lord really showed me what it is to have a heart for the Great Commission (Matthew 28:16-20). I had a heart for China and couldn't wait to go back.
I spent the last years in college praying for an opportunity to go back to China to live, to serve and to be part of what an amazing place China is. I was discouraged when I realized I had taken a really great job at a marketing firm called The Brick Group and wasn't packing my bags to head overseas again.
But then that all changed. My life as I knew it really began to seem a lot easier to give up... the things that I felt really were holding me in Boise were no longer a burden or an issue within my heart. So.... I began to look into teaching opportunities in China, after kind of casually scoping out Taiwan.
The Timing
The process was moving right along for my placement in China. My recruiter and I were just waiting for the "right job" to come along. Ironically enough, Jeff Reynolds and Ron Baker (The Principals of our firm) came to us one Monday morning to inform my amazing team at Brick Group that they were closing the doors. I was actually about a week away from telling them about my future endeavors, so they immediately supported and encouraged me in the next step. I felt immediate affirmation and peace. However, I still needed to lock myself into an actual position and had no concrete plan. I had about a month of pay still coming so I had some time.
China
I had told my recruiter I was interested in Shanghai or Beijing. The thought of being in Beijing made me silly with excitement because of the 2008 Olympics. Every interview I had with the schools though, it just never seemed like a good fit...
Until one night - I talked with the Director of an amazing International School. We immediately clicked and had a fabulous conversation. I couldn't have been more pumped at that moment. I still remember it all so clearly. I was offered the position and started right away on getting my documents and formalities in the mail to her. The initial red flag was the timing of getting there. You see, the Visa process was going to take a bit longer and it was looking like January. I didn't have until January! With Brick closing down, it was time to move forward. Still, I was excited and trusted the Lord would provide and it would all work out. The other hesitation... the area. It was in Chengdu. There was no real reason or anything I could seriously in particular put my finger on.... but it just didn't seem right. I didn't have a feeling of peace about it. Still though, I was determined to "follow my dream" and get back to China.
Korea
I was on the phone with my recruiter one day talking to him a bit more of what I wanted and he said something I really didn't want to hear at the moment. "I think maybe you should look into Korea. They have amazing paying jobs there."
I just kept thinking to myself "NO! I don't care about Korea. Why would I want to go to Korea? What are you thinking... I told you. I want to go to CHINA!" As peeved as I was, for some reason I took it a step further and somewhat awkwardly said.... OK. I was put in touch with the recruiter who handled the Korea placements. Before I knew it I had an interview with a man from CDI (An English academy) in Seoul and he asked me if I'd be available to come out in a week. I laughed as I told him... 'actually, yes'. He had a few more things he needed to get confirmation of but within a week, I had been offered a position with one of the largest companies in Seoul. It definitely piqued my interest.
The Decision
So here I was. Faced with a decision that I really didn't feel I could make. I had never been so stressed out about making a decision in my life. I knew that either one was a huge decision and each one would basically change my life - both in very different ways. I didn't know how to cope with that. After much prayer I made my decision to come to Korea. My feelings of excitement and joy sometimes masked my insecurity of wondering why I was coming to Korea and not to China. Inside I felt like I was letting someone down and not keeping my end of the bargain for some reason. I never could put it into words the disconnect and hesitation I had with that specific position in Chengdu, China. And it hurt me tremendously to not understand.... but I pushed forward in faith, fully trusting there was a reason.
I arrived in Korea on November 10, 2007 not speaking a word of Korean, not knowing anything about this nation I was about to dedicate a year of my life in. I was in for a pleasant surprise.
Doubt and Affirmation
Soon after arriving in Korea, I still definitely thought I'd be headed to China next year in 2009. As I have grown as a person, met some of the amazing people who have come into my life here in Korea and as I have fallen into an even deeper relationship with Christ, I now have a desire to serve not only just China, but other nations as well. This, of course has some days sent me into a whirlwind of questioning myself and questioning the heart I once had for China. Not that I still don't ever want to go back to China, but my passion has grown deeper and more meaningful for not just China, but for places like southeast Asia.
Every time I see some of my student's faces and the laughter that comes from them, my job and my purpose here is so evident. It is deeply rich and rewarding. I see God moving and shaping me and so many people around me. It's incredible to see Christ glorified in so many ways. I'm in awe of how blessed I am to be here. It feels like a big present every day because I never know what to expect and totally trust the Lord with each day here. I've seen myself fall flat on my face in some ways here, but I'm wholly aware it's only made me stronger and has made me realize my need for such an intense intimacy with my Lord, Jesus Christ.
As I step into a new and promoted role as Head Instructor at my school, I can't help but be thrilled to be the lead on getting things done, to make people feel comfortable, to coach the instructors and encourage them to be the absolute best they can be - to be someone who is approachable and trusting. It's clear to me that through my relationships there that I have made, especially with Sharon, that I know I'm RIGHT where I'm supposed to be. This was the feeling of affirmation I had as I left my Head Instructor training this morning. This morning was a huge breaking point. I finally, after 6 months really felt no regret. No more questioning and wondering "why" and demanding to know the answer. It was incredibly liberating.
It was only a few hours later as I looked at that web page, within minutes of that earthquake - I realized that God offered His incredible protection over me. A whirlwind of emotion came over my body as it was made so crystal clear. My hesitation, or my lack of peace was I think an act of God offering a hedge of protection over my body. The earthquake hit the exact place I would have been in China. Not saying this earthquake would have been fatal for me, because I could have been spared even in the midst of it... but the point is that the Maker and Creator of the universe has a plan. He really does direct us in the small things AND the big things and this is a day in my life I will never forget. I'm so thankful for the amazing gift of life we can have through Christ and the ability to walk with Him and to serve the living and active Almighty God.
He makes our paths straight, He unites us, He's a jealous God who desires all of us, not just some of us and I'm so thankful that He does not need me to bring Himself glory, but rather that He chooses me. He chooses us all.
That's my story - the interesting weave of events and seasons in life that have lead me right here to be in Seoul, Korea and it has humbled me more than ever, to know that I am not in control of my life. I want to thank all of my friends, but especially my family who has given me nothing but complete and flawless support over the years who has made this journey one that has been so much easier because of their very UNCONDITIONAL love.
Peace and Love
1 week ago
